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There I was at a networking event in Beverly Hills. Lots of people milling around, hoping for their chance to meet someone who could do something for their career — like give them a job or option their screenplay. I didn’t want to be there, but part of doing business in Hollywood – even when you offer a support service like I do – is ya gotta get out and meet people!
Plus the event was put on by a friend of mine — and we also need to support our friends’ events in this business — so I showed up. The events by my friend are always great, but like with any networking event, you gotta get ready, do the hair and makeup to make yourself presentable, and get yourself in a good happy space and so on. And I just wasn’t in the mood for it.
But I went anyway.
Since I was not in a super talkative mood, I decided this would be a night of listening… listen, listen, and listen some more. Although I was ready to sit back and listen, once I was there, I wasn’t gonna be a wallflower, so I gently wiggled myself into a circle of four or five 32-ish-aged women and just listened… at first.
Then I did engage a little bit by periodically asking a question of one of the girls who was talking – it’s a good tactic to make your presence known without having to talk much.
My questions were on-topic and simply got them to say more about the thing they were talking about… Then once in a while I made a brief comment about some aspect of what they were saying like, “I work with actors, and I hear [that] a lot. A number of my actor clients have been telling me lately they’ve been having trouble with [xyz] a lot more than in the past, too.” –
I said just enough to be a little engaged and but also to hint that I have a service for actors, but I never took main stage and told a full story about my experience.
I don’t remember exactly what was discussed at this point since it was small talk, but I knew that at some point, if appropriate and natural, I would weave in a bigger hint about how I help actors, with a comment like “I was writing a cover letter for one of my actor clients last week, and I told her just what you said, that she should blah blah blah…” Then if they were interested they could ask me about it. I’ve had that happen many times.
To drop a hint that way would be a way better introduction to my services than “HEY! I help Actors Get Agents! or I help Screenwriters get their scripts to production companies…. and a BLAH BLAH BLAHTY Blah! Does anyone here need that?”
No, we don’t do it like that… We do our best to weave in little hints about what we do, unless someone asks… or someone (maybe you) asks to do a quick round robin of introductions… nothing wrong with that. But as I stood there and mostly listened…
Just about that time something happened… which made my time there worth every minute just for the story of it!
I had been standing in this circle biding my time with a peanut gallery comment or two for at least 20 minutes. Then out of the blue, an attractive Girl with an Extraordinarily Long Arm walked right up and abruptly leaned in and shoved that Long Arm of hers inside our circle with a handful of business cards and loudly pronounced, “Hey, I don’t want to interrupt you guys, but here are my business cards. I’m an actress if you want to call me. Thanks.”
Then she blessed each of us with her business card by quickly passing one to each and every one of us… and then she disappeared into the next circle over.
THAT, my friends, is a perfect example of what you should NOT do!
That is not networking. I don’t know what it is but it’s not networking for the long-term.
However, after the Girl with the Extraordinarily Long Arm did that, I smiled to myself and said ,“PERFECTION! This is exactly why I was meant to be here. It was so I could witness that and forever after have a real live perfect example of WHAT NOT TO DO in networking.”
Now this Girl with the Extraordinarily Long Arm was very attractive and had a bubbly personality, so that will always score some points for her with some folks, but others would be very skeptical about working with her on an acting job because that one action spoke volumes about what she might be like to work with. She was oblivious as to how she came across, and she had no interest in anyone else.
Don’t be that girl. Don’t barge into a group of people, force them to take your card, then shoo them off, as you walk off to the next group. Instead, try to make the acquaintance of others… establish a basic rapport! You don’t need to find your new best friend at a networking event but do try to find that sweet spot of professional relatedness and friendliness.
I didn’t go to this particular event trying to promote my business — I didn’t want to go at all but I did it anyway. And since I was there, I figured might as well engage a bit.
That is not the perfect attitude for networking, but if you at least get yourself to an event and start listening and engaging a little bit, you have a much better chance of beginning a new business relationship than if you just stayed home and binged on the latest Netflix series getting all the buzz
BUT… here’s another dirty truth about networking in Hollywood…
Remember That Girl with the Extraordinarily Long Arm who obnoxiously reached in and interrupted the conversation in our circle and forced her card upon us? I promise you she made more connections that night than people who stayed home and binged on a Netflix series. People like that, as rude as they may seem, are often so bold and outgoing that they end up meeting people and making connections that end up working in their favor. Sometimes, a person like that is really an outgoing, nice person who is oblivious to how they comes across and doesn’t know any better. The good news about that is that even if you mess up, there’s HOPE!
The most important Secret to Networking is to simply show up and start engaging even just a little bit. At any point, you could be One Audition Away… or One Conversation Away… or One Pitch Away from a huge opportunity in your career. You could go to an event, talk to a handful of people, and connect with one of them, and in the next 24 hours, you get the opportunity of a lifetime. You could meet someone who likes your pitch for your script and a couple days later, big things start rolling along.
Any of this is possible.
As long as you show up.
You’ve heard the axiom about how succeeding in Hollywood has a lot to do with who you know… and it’s true, it does.
But what they don’t tell you is that through networking you can get to know people. If you don’t like networking per se, don’t call it that but DO SHOW UP. You don’t have to be as bold and obnoxious as the pretty Girl With the Extraorinarily Long Arm, but do show up.
Somehow you have to connect with people and get to know them at least as a business acquaintance or you could be missing out on opportunities to have your dreams fulfilled.
If you run across the Girl With the Extraordinarily Long Arm, let me know how she’s doing. She made an impression on me and here I am still asking about her years later. If she made that kind of impression on me just for being innocently obnoxious, just think what you could do.
Here’s a toast to creating networking opportunities for yourself…. starting by just Showing Up!